Chilling at LaBarba Coffee with Z
Beautiful cool day, sitting outside with my daughter - this is the life.
It's the simple things in life. We are missing conference but quietly chilling in the big doorway to outside. The breeze keeps the air fresh. The chatter of conversations calms my ADHD prefrontal cortex. A beautiful Samoyed leashed outside. I had asked if it was a Pyrenees, but the owner said no.
I struggle lying in bed. All my failures, everything that could cause my absolute downfall, and the people I didn't open up to, weighs me down. Things look absolutely impossible. Sitting on the cusp of utter disaster. All the things that I fall short on. My job. My family. My finances. My health. I want to grow and learn but I just feel like an idiot. The gap seems vast while the gain feels like an anthill. My mind feels decrepit and not up to the task. I feel like my brain sluggishly runs in molasses.
But when I enter the light of the day and I realize that I have this day shining brightly before me, excitement and hope blast through the doors to fill me, at least for the time being. What is on the agenda? What small pleasures will I be find hiding in this bright day?
I am just so thankful for my time with my daughters. I am thankful to be able to run in the morning, even if my throat feels raw from the cold morning air. I am alive. And that beats the alternative. I have more health than many people. My lungs feel enlarged and each breath feels like a soft ghost hug.
